Reputation

I'm feeling drained these days.  Some trouble in my immediate family has my focus entirely on my children and I feel my creativity has abandoned me.

I have a few regular photo sessions and two weddings to edit and deliver and I can't muster the energy or concentration needed to get the job done.  My reputation as a photographer is in jeopardy.  On one hand, if I don't deliver these photos, some of them already very overdue, my reputation as trustworthy suffers.  On the other hand, if I push through, feeling this way, the work itself will likely not be up to my standards and my reputation as an artist is damaged.

It's time to figure out how to hunker down and do my best work regardless of circumstances or give up this pursuit.  I just don't know what to do.

*I must note here, a few weeks later, that yet another computer crashed me while I was working on these photos and they are even more overdue now.  It is overwhelmingly disappointing to me and I'm sure to the people who are waiting for their photos.

Today...

Today, I work from 8:30 in the morning until 7:00 at night at my full-time job. 

Then the fun begins... a snuggle with the kiddos before they go to bed, followed by hours of photo editing on the old desktop computer.  My husband finally got it set up for me yesterday and I still do not have a working laptop.  So, it will be a long day, but hopefully a lot will be accomplished!

Peace out ;)

What Can I Say?

I suppose we all feel overwhelmed sometimes.  Give in to stress and outside pressure.  When that happens to me, I feel like I've lost all control of myself and I'm just waiting for the next problem to push me to action.  Like a dog that has been given the command to sit and not released from it, I feel suspended.

Situations beyond my control have me feeling a bit like this now. 

I'm determined to be active in my own life; yes, I must accept that I can't change everything - there is plenty over which I have no control - but I know the black cloud of negativity that has been hovering over me off and on for years now is not a solid fixture and I can shoo it away.  I think the time has come to not only shoo it away temporarily but also apply repellant so it never returns!  I know, deep down, that circumstances do not define me.

I am, more than ever, looking forward to beginning the Face of a Survivor project.  We have all survived something in our lives.  It is empowering to shed that burden by sharing it with others and provides a sense of community when we realize we really aren't alone.

Lastly... I'm having computer issues so I'm behind on editing photo sessions, for which I'm really sorry.  What can I say but sorry?  Technology tends to dislike me!!  I will have some beautiful images to share soon, I hope!

Face of a Survivor Project

In an effort to advocate for survivors of emotional, verbal, physical or sexual abuse, in August I plan to begin working on a project I'm tentatively calling 'Face of a Survivor' which I hope will empower victims and survivors of abuse, eradicate the stigma surrounding victims of abuse and unite those of us who have experienced abuse.

I am not at all certain what form this project will take, although as a photographer I know photos will play a role.  I believe blogging will also play a role, and it's my hope to bring together survivors and people who wish to support survivors, from any city in the world and any walk of life.  My dream is that this project will be big enough to reach people who are living with current abuse or wearing the scars of past abuse not yet healed, and will help them to overcome.

If you have ideas or are interested in taking part in any way, please email me at shine star.photography@gmail.com